this is my first blog of the year....

It's already 1.50am, am I still awake. I can't sleep well, many things had happened as well as many changes had being taken. Things that changes are like friends, family, and what we called brother. Every thing had change, I always remember last time I used to say, " "fate" bought us together and it will separate us apart. If we don't try to put our effort we won't even last."

I really puzzle of why some guys don't appreciate the nice girls they found and leave them. At the same time, I really confuse when some girls did found a really good boyfriend yet choose to hurt them and leave them. Maybe "fate" really like play tricks on us. Sometimes I really enjoy  the time I spend even it means something little to me.

When will I found a really nice girl that really appreciate me? or should I say... I found you!
never know when will it happen but I believe you will be the best among the people I know. Let pray "fate" put us together soon.

GOOD NITZ!!!! working tomorrow >.<

so glad that I know all of U

after for so many years, all this frens that was with me had spend their time and believe on me. I really enjoy spending the time with them I really enjoy every single second talking and chatting with this people. I love their interest and ways of interacting with me , mostly joke around and laugh around.

so many months have passed, I look back the things I had done and I can say I really really want to stay with these fren forever, hope everyone can find a ritz partner.

it  is been so long that i have blog le...but I think now when ever i have the time I wish to blog to keep remember every  single thinking and feeling i have.

I am so glad that i know all these fellow!!!!

New story .... New frens

After 8 months.... I be trying to make myself forget the pain and suffer that u giv me...

I learn a lot of new things and also through time I make some new frens I learn how to let u go...

But even so I still had a time of thinking u... Why!! Why would I still think of u...

Now currently I have use work and study to clear my mind so that I won't think of u

Will it work??? Can I stop thinking of u???

Study day working nitz no rest even weekend....

Hope I can survive.....

Felt like today's time pass so slow...

It is a normal day, where everything is normal....nothing special
But I think that the time pass so slow...and boring....
I wonder is we doing our things damn fast or is the day is so long sia....

My plan if the day is that I study in class until 6pm hopefully i have the mood...
then go home rest and change to running clothes and go run....
I think I can train abit as my ache have stop ba....

that all of the day......

My feeling

after she leave.....My heart is so dead....I can't feel my heart beat....
yet I have to smile everyday facing everyone and everyone.....

what the point of knowing her....then.....forget about her....

I really glad that I know her....but...do she glad to know mi?

does she love mi in the first place?

i so happy that there is a new couple beside mi....*CheerS* man!!! I wish u can last long with her...

And I hope she is way better than anyone I know......!!!!

Thanks to people around mi.......I can move on....thanks to her....I see the truth about gals.....

New Life, new friends....

Now currently in Year 2 sem 2, I happy with my class currently compare to Year 2 sem one. At least I felt easy and abit distress ba.....

To me right now....I like in a New life where by I don look at the past think about what I had before but now looking forward each day happening. everyday there will be joke laughter mainly in my new class.

I met some new friends, in new class all are quite friendly and fun i guess.....

Hope this go on.......
But ...
but..





I still don wan to forget what I use to have what I use to share.....my pain and my love....
hope u go on well in ur life.....

how i being?

without u by my side...yes...i felt quite lonely....i not use to it at all.....but when time goes by...slowly i get use to it le....thanks to my friends helping me...now i get back on my feet....
what did i done to have u treat mi in this way....ur coldness....ur eyes.....ur voice....


thanks....anyway....i get use to it le.....

I M SINGLE!!!!!!

after 6 month of in love...with this gal vivian lee...on this day this time...she is leaving mi...

I love her alot...care her alot...but...in the end, we were on our own.

I did my best and really enjoy all the greeat time i have with her...

my tears came...and dry very fast...i wont hate her...

maybe i just not rich...not dat handsome...maybe i just not that nice for her...n she left.....all i can say to her....thank you very much...I LOVE U....

my feeling for now...

I understand why my gf say i childish and don noe how to think...and i started to realise it too but when i realise it i think i like grow up and felt different den b4...thanks to my work i realise that people around mi althought we are about same age but their reaction is like small kid..and some even thinking of fucking gals all days and nitz....
I just felt that i very different from this people...can say ba i well educated compare to them...so i trying not to be angry...thanks to my classmate they all are also telling mi don think so much as they are just 'kids' so heck care them ba..
I love my gf and also i respect her too..if i just wan to play her body.....if the first case i should not start a relationship with her...and just play with her...but i not!!! i love my gf so much and i respect her too...don classify mi n u people the same...FUCK!!!

I hate it...no one understand mi...what i need??

I starting to get use no one really understand me at all...people just think and say what they see.

everyone is against me suddenly and i have nothing to say...I wan something is not to show off or to play i just wan to save time and use it as a transport.yet people say i m childish. I really trying very hard to cope my studies and at the same time working. yet people say study la don waste time on that thing...if only this people are me then they noe how i feel if not why bother....i really fuck care of them...all of them...soon i just be a robot...anyway no one cares..mi or how i feel...just treat mi as a kid...i m tired but i cant rest...no income...don say about buying my dream bike....i wonder why did i take the first step of getting a bike licences and not car...?? it is becos i can afford a bike and it really help mi save the time...reach home early n rest...i really don noe wat the problem...hiaz...i wont giv up on my bike de....just that wait ba...

DO I REALLY HAVE THE CHOICE???

I believe if I don't work then, i will not have money to pay my stuff. I know how important to study but if a person who can't afford to come to sch how does he/she have the money to study...?? My parents always ask mi not to work as i am still currently in studies but but...if i don't work who going to give mi allowances who give mi my transport and my bill for my hp.

some people even say work less la...study important i reply to them den can u support mi??
what are u all thinking???!!! FUCK U if u really don understand mi n my position!!!
U ALL Doesn't know unless u have to support urself So FUCKING WAKE UP UR MIND LA!!!!

feelin stress up suddenly...

today...suddenly i feel like i falling in to a deep hole...there nothing else...no sound...no light...i just keep falling...

I have been working lately...trying to save up to do things that i wan...i have to work have to study and have to accompany my gf...Time is the thing i need...money is the second....

i didnt even see my mum for a week, didnt see my gf for a week.....and all i can blame is mi...
trying to do my best... wonder how long i can last...

I M SO HAPPY TO HAV U

AFTER so many years, i been cursing myself and sick of myself that i m single. >.<

AT LAST I HAVE A GF!!! yahoo ^_^

She is pretty , cute , adorable, beautiful and lots more for mi to find out =P

I hav so long never update this blog le...so now just wan to write about 'her'

Her name is vivian lee ^ ^

age: 17

currently studying in tampaniese ite. Now i have being with her for 3 months and to me there is long way to go >.< i love her so much as she willing to understand mi more than anyone will do. To me as she grows i am growing too. although she may be the one controlling mi the whole time but i just wan to be with her or should i say i just love her too much. XD

i always hav a negative side of thinking like we can't last or what...but to mi what most important is she can be happy when i m around ^ ^ giving what i can thats all even i suffer more than i give...ritz now i say i willing >.<

i really not sure of it....

i really enjoy it...enjoy the time that spend with this 'person'..
don noe why the time i spend with this 'person' is like very fast..from day...soon will be night... and i hate it..i hate to say goodbye...but if don...den there wont be tml...

i don wan to think of it sia...but suddenly someone plant this stupid seed in my head sia...T.T den even worst this seed is growing sia...i really don noe how or wat to do to stop this stupid seed from growing...

maybe..just let it be...

today...was a tiring day...although i hav fun with it...sometime if free should go to beach to relax awhile...maybe this will let mi feel less stress..i don noe how to faace her..ritz now..it is very weird...

OMG!!! i pon sch today... haha...this is the first time....
ok..got to go lala land liao..Zzzz..

is she guilty? or wat??

I just say what i think so...cos she leaving mi out like nobody business...so what for i care her so much...did i over do as a fren? over care her...den i stop myself from goin towards her...now she stared to react...she is weird as always...just like in the past all the the people who i met...all u people wish someone to treat u nice always treat u nice...but when the someone stop treating u nice..u all change.. change damn fast...

i didnt mean her...as she is using mi or wat...yet when she read that nick of mine..she piss off...the reason of pissing off i not sure..cos she don dare to say... i treasure her as fren but do she treasure mi... i guess she still didnt learn for her mistake...she always wan something tat is not hers..to me wat i think is what is urs is urs...what is not no matter wat u wont get it...

after knowing she piss off with mi...i already knew we wont be talkin to each other le...cos to her she trust mi...but to mi she dont even trust mi..as a fren...
go find others ba... i not suit for u... i just don get it..y is she so piss off when she read my nick..even thought i not sayin her..unless...
as people say..she is guilty.. she feel like she treat mi as wat i say..therefore she is angry...

to me..this not the first time le...fate is still playing on mi...and i knew all along..i just a tools...not a human...no matter in relationship or in frenship.. to mi is all the same...

now i starting to hate her...let see how much i can hate...as always the more i hate her..the more i like her...lol...man this is a curse...

i wish i could say to u....i will treasure U more den he do....

How i wish i can just spend all my time with u...just u...but i noe it is impossible...
hiaz...how i wish i can tell u my feeling towards u...how much i care for u...
but i noe it is impossible...

no matter wat i will stand by ur side...just like an angle..protect u..comfort u...
the onli return i wish from u is ur beautiful smile... even u don hav any feelin for mi...

how i wish i can be 24 hour with u...how i wish i have the time to spend with u...
I wish i wish...

there all so many wish just for u...
i guess i will treasure u more den he do...

i don noe y...but seem to be in this way...

i have comfort so many gals in my life...mostly are the gals who i like...yet the same result as always be...we are good fren ritz?
frem...what is fren to u?? fren to mi...is just spendin time doing nothing with u...dat fren...

i heard it once...what u desire u will not get wat u wan... so is this mean...all i desire is a true love....a love dat never betray on me... or did i get it already...
is frenship = true love...??

maybe i didnt treasure it...or maybe i didnt realize it....
fren or love...which will i choose....??

why do i have so many brothers and sister....all i wish is to have a gf...

y do every time i have this problem...when ever i like someone...the most i can get to is close fren or brother and sister..why?
what wrong with mi?? >.<

in my life all the gals i met all just say this to mi...
why should i accept??
all i wish is to have a gf.....

wth!!!!

i feelin damn depress ritz now....

i really don noe what to say...i now onli feel depress...will she like mi??